Golden Rivers Turn To Black Waters

I recently met one of the most intriguing female creatures I ever had the mixed blessing and curse of coming across. Without doubt she has the vacuuming force of a black hole.

I was quickly lost in her vertigo of milk and honey.

Her preference are what guys in the know call 90/10, meaning she prefers women over men 90% of the time. Before meeting her I was told by several close friends of their failed attempts to conquer her interest. Being who I am, I have no interest in conquering ANY woman. But when I set eyes on her for the first time the moment sparked a blazing 5 alarm fire through every nerve in my being.

Because of odd circumstances we were first introduced in her apartment. She invited me to her room, the power was out, the day hot and muggy and we sat on her bed. We talked for nearly an hour in what felt like a fully clothed sauna session.

After the 60 minute steam bath we left her room and went to breakfast with a few of her girlfriends, my dad and his girlfriends. After breakfast the day got crazy weird & twisted…

We ended up in my dad’s apartment laying together in the guest room. We dolled in and out of a half sleepy state. Suddenly my brother Charlie, who was staying at the apartment, began to scream for help. My grandmother had a cerebral stroke and was in need of first aid.

As luck would have it, I have had the opportunity to train in various forms of first aid and was able to stabilizer her until the ambulance arrived. No worries though, today she is doing much better and is well on her way to recovery.

After 6.5 grueling hours at the hospital the nearly full on bottle-blond Dominican lesbian bombshell and I began a series of peculiar errands. We drove all over Santo Domingo (the capital city) picking people up and dropping things off, while blasting Reggaeton and Street Merengue out of the speakers.This was two days after my flight into Dom Rep and after a night of intense drinking with my cousins, sisters and brother.

My brain was still soaking in Tequila and beer. My eyes nearly sealed shut from exhaustion and my body tapped out from lack of sleep. Yet I scored a massive adrenaline fix from this vixen which kept me wired and going forward at a Hannibal’s pace. Something about her made me want to consume more of life.

When 2 a.m. rolled around we were at the door to my apartment in the Dominican Republic. I was beyond exhaustion at this point.

She never said she was spending the night, I had no intention for her to spend the night and was a bit awe struck by the fact she was still at my side, laughing and having a great time. As I made my bed and got ready to head out to where the Unicorns run free and candy-coated clouds sprinkle the sky, I noticed she was doing the same.

Feeling the intuitive need to play it cool and make no mention of anything, I simply turned on some ambient music and jumped into bed. Within 5 minutes this delightful creature was at my side. We cuddled, kissed and closed our eyes.

Around 3 a.m. her cell phone begins to ring non-stop. It was her roommate, who was locked out of their apartment and needed the blond Dominican bombshell to bring her the keys. I figured this signaled the end of our time together. But I was dead wrong…

All I can say is, we devoured one another.

She then coolly got up, took a shower, got dressed, called a cab and went home. I slowly got that one-night-stand dirty morning-after-feeling. And as luck would have it, my feelings where right. Despite the phone calls, songs and sweet text messages, she was resolved to not see me again.

Well that is not the whole story…

As fate would twist it, she confessed to me I was the perfect man. Far be it from me to argue with such fantastic logic (although I am not convinced I am the perfect man, I like the idea of a woman thinking so) I was impressed with her frank candor.

She had a second confession to make. This confession would be the explanation as to why she could not be with the perfect man (that’s me). You see… she has an ex-boyfriend…

“What’s the big deal you ask?” “We all have ex’s in our past you say.”

And you are right it is no big deal, we all have ex’s in our past…BUT… this ex-boyfriend happens to be my dad. WOW! How was that for an unexpected bomb from right field!?!

I personally had no problem with this, however she was stone cold set on not going any further. After several days of pursuing her I thought it was a done deal. I had been used, although I could not complain because I rather enjoyed it…but the story continues…

After a week or more of no communication, I get a call from the bombshell. She wants me to attend her upcoming graduation. I declined.

The day of her graduation I get a call from her asking me to attend and if I could loan her $60 so she could finish paying for her ceremony. I gave it to her as a gift but declined to go. She then began telling me how much she missed me and how much she wanted me to go. I gave in.

Well to make a long story short… I HAVE NO IDEA why she invited me to her graduation in the first place.

After the ceremony, her class went to a club to celebrate. The girl was all over the place, we hardly spoke, I spent the night dancing with her sister and drinking perfectly frozen beers with her mom all night. It was the oddest of relationships this bombshell and I.

She slowly and surely became toxic and bitter. Over the next few days her behavior reached the point of abusive. One night her roommate told me the bombshell was feeling sick and was hungry and that I should take her food. So I prepared a warm sandwich for her and headed over.

Well when I showed up, I got a brutal reception followed by a rude awakening a 6 a.m. with an immediate declaration to leave. Yes, this was my kind reward for bringing care, food and comfort to a sick and hungry vixen in the middle of the night.

I had to quickly recover from this loud and grotesque encounter of a foreign kind.

What I did was simple, I accepted the fact that the golden river I was floating on had turned to raging black waters. The point was not to navigate the black waters successfully, the point was to get the fuck out of the river and go find some new golden coasts. And this is what I did…

Don’t think when you are stuck in a bad situation you have to fix the situation or that it’s a reflection of yourself. Sometimes good goings go bad and the only solution is to get up and walk away to find some new good going ons.

See you in the next post where I’m going to reveal to you the secret of opening 50,000 luxury vehicles with wire hangers…plus… some other juicy details of this strange Odyssey I have been swept away on.

All the Best,
~Carlos